Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
