spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
