Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
