Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
