Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
