I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
