I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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