why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
