I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
