She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
