Nicole vs. Life
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
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Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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