just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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