they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
