I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
