my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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