I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize