I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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