i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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