I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I need moral support for this bender
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
