I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize