I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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