"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
