I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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