i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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