Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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