I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
