he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
