why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
