i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is Oprah even human
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
