life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm really busy with my period
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