I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize