another moral hangover. fuck.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
