Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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