I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize