Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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