you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
