forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
