She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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