I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
