Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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