we're blogging at a bar
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize