just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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