yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
