Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
