So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
