idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
