Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
