i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
