doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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