If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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