I wanna passion pit in your ass
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Randomize
