What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
