Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
