My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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