Your tits are I can't wait for
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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