if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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