Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
