Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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