i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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