I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is it because I queefed?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
