is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
