Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
