If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
