but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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